Defiant Hearts Page 15

  “Laura, it’s Jayce. Is it too late to sit on the porch and talk?”

  Laura unbolted the lock, opened the door, and looked at him. “I just got home, so I’m still dressed. We can chat for a while. Would you care for something to drink?”

  “Just a glass of water would be fine. I’ll wait for you here. I don’t think it would look proper for you to entertain me inside, alone. Sometimes gossip can be as deadly to a lady’s reputation as a lethal gunshot.”

  Laura smiled. “You’re considerate and a gentleman, Lieutenant Storm; that impresses and pleases me.”

  Jayce watched her walk down a lengthy hallway and enter the kitchen to her right, her skirt responding to the gentle swaying of her hips and graceful movements. Dark-gold hair seemed to tumble down her back in gay abandonment. She had a smile radiant enough to lighten a gloomy day. Her soft and flawless skin invited a man to yearn to caress it. Her voice teased over him like sweet music, as did her laughter. Her green eyes were incredible, with long dark lashes fringing them. If he didn’t stop thinking about her, he warned himself, there was going to be a noticeable bulge in his pants when she returned!

  His curious gaze traveled past three doors on each side. He could see part of a large parlor to his left and a small sitting room to his right. He assumed a dining room was beside the kitchen, and the other two doors to his left were bedrooms, with a bathing closet at the far end of the hall. The house looked clean, wellfurnished, and comfortable. He moved aside and propped himself on the porch railing, as he didn’t want to be caught studying her residence. He had stabled his horse and waited on her front steps until she came home. He was glad she hadn’t lingered in the hotel past ten, as he had taken a break from his investigative mission to spend a short time with her before completing it.

  Laura handed him the glass and took a seat in a rocking chair. As he drank the water, she asked, “How do you like Petersburg?”

  As soon as he had sipped water to moisten his dry throat, he answered, “It looks as if she was a nice town before the war took control of her. There’s a lot of damage and desolation southeast where the two sides are dug in. Tents, rickety shelters, forts, breastworks, entrenchments, and soldiers fill your vision for as far as you can see. It’s noisy and crowded, and some places are dirty and smelly, and the food doesn’t compare to Mrs. Barton’s.”

  She assumed his grin was to distract her and perhaps himself from the dark reality of the sufferings and hardships of camp life. “What do you do all day and at night?”

  “We have skirmishes, go scouting, and guard vital locations. Some nights, the sky is streaked with mortar and cannon fire. In some locations, the opposing lines are so close, we can see the enemies’ faces and watch them around their campfires.” He glanced at the floor as he deceived her out of necessity with his following words, “We mostly wait and watch to see what Grant’s forces are going to do. Looks pretty much like a stalemate at present, as if neither side wants to start anything really big. If you ask me, this siege hasn’t accomplished much in the last two months and it looks to be a long one unless something critical happens soon.”

  “What stops the enemy from sneaking from their camps into yours?”

  He answered without hesitation, “Hazardous obstacles and perilous traps and constant guards.”

  “War is hard on everyone, for men doing the fighting and for families left behind to fend for themselves. It doesn’t sound as if either side is winning. I hope it will be over soon so recovery and healing can begin, so families can be reunited.”

  “So do I, Laura, but it doesn’t look promising.” He wished he could send her to his family for protection, but with fighting going on in Missouri, she wouldn’t be any safer there than she was here; in fact, he couldn’t think of anyplace she could go to escape the perils of war; even the western section was in grave conflict with the Indians and there weren’t enough soldiers there to handle those troubles. Even if he asked her to go to Missouri, he doubted she would agree. If she did, as soon as she discovered he was a Unionist, a spy, she would leave with haste and he might not be able to locate her again. At least with her in Richmond, he knew where she was and he could keep an eye on her.

  Laura watched Jayce roll the empty glass between his hands with a troubled gaze locked on it. “What are you thinking about; you look so serious and grim?”

  Jayce halted his action and looked deep in to her eyes. “How dangerous it is for you to be in Richmond if the Union breaches the Confederate lines at Petersburg because this would be their next target.”

  His concern was touching, arousing. She murmured, “Then it’s up to brave and skilled soldiers like you to defend our lines or obtain victory, or for our leaders to negotiate peace.” She saw him nod grimly.

  His mind echoed her words, and her trust in him caused guilt to gnaw at it because he was doing everything he could to evoke a Union triumph and—yes—peace. He knew what Grant’s impending plans were, plans which could endanger her if they became more than a ploy to deceive and weaken Lee’s command. He didn’t want to talk about war anymore, and he had a mission to complete tonight. He stood and hinted, “It’s getting late and you need your rest. I should be leaving.”

  Laura rose from the chair and walked to her door. She faced him and said, “I enjoyed our talk, Jayce; I’m glad you stopped by.”

  He knew he should go, fast, but he was reluctant to leave her, as he didn’t know when he could return, if he survived to do so. “I enjoyed our visit, too, Laura. I’ve been thinking about you a great deal since I left, so I was glad my commander needed some dispatches delivered.”

  They were standing close, their gazes locked on each other, the door behind her still closed to keep out insects. Shadows, vines, and a lack of street traffic guarded their privacy, despite a waning full moon. It was a romantic and tempting setting, and this could be their last night together.

  Some irresistible force drew them together, coaxed them into each other’s arms, and their mouths met in a passionate kiss…

  Chapter Eight

  Jayce had not asked permission this time to kiss and embrace her, and Laura had not given it because their actions were spontaneous. They shared a mutual and powerful desire for each other, one which went beyond a physical aspect. They sensed their attraction was also emotional and spiritual; it was one that hopefully bonded their hearts and lives forever, no matter who or what attempted to come between them.

  The kiss was long, delicious, ardent, and profound. Jayce held her close; Laura’s arms encircled his waist and her palms were flattened to his back. She was held in a snug and possessive grasp, and savored it, as did he.

  Jayce’s fingertips shifted to caress her cheeks and jawline, as his mouth refused for the time being to part with hers. His heart pounded as he stroked her hair and trailed his hands over her shoulders and arms, wanting to touch as much of her as was safe and proper. He drifted his lips down her throat until her collar caused them to retreat to her ear where he nibbled at its lobe.

  Laura quivered with rising desire as his hot breath filled her ear. She felt his back muscles ripple—tense and relax, rise and fall—as his hands traveled her tingling flesh. Never had she been kissed, held, touched, or enflamed in this intoxicating and blissful manner. She knew it would be rapture to make love to him, but it was too early in their relationship to think of marriage or to yield to fiery yearnings. Even so, she craved him feverishly, knowing this could be the last time she was given a chance to surrender to him and to answer love’s summons.

  When Jayce realized how aroused they were becoming and how close he was to losing self-control, he knew they had to stop. He didn’t want her to regret surrendering to him, and he didn’t want to leave her with a bigger problem than the ones she now faced. Surely it should be enough for him to know he had exposed and staked his claim on her and she had accepted it, revealed she felt the same way about him. As much as he wanted to continue kissing and holding her, it was hazardous. He pulled her
close to him and rested his cheek against her temple, taking deep breaths to steady himself.

  As he held her in his arms with her head against his broad chest, she realized his heart was beating as rapidly as her own. She felt heat radiating from his hard body and knew more than late-July weather was responsible.

  After he had regained control of his wits and body,Jayce murmured, “Much as I want you, Laura, we have to stop before we go too far. You have this sneaky way of making me lose my wits, woman.”

  Laura heard him chuckle and felt his firm chest vibrate with it. She realized he was not rejecting her, but meant to protect her innocence and show her respect. If his feelings were nothing more than lust, he would have attempted to seduce her, and might, she admitted to herself, have succeeded. “I know what you mean; you do the same thing to me, Lieutenant Storm,” she confessed in a voice still strained by intense emotion, and was certain he sighed in relief at her honest reply.

  “There isn’t anyone else in your life, is there, a soldier off fighting?” he asked.

  “No, there isn’t.” She warmed when his embrace tightened for a moment and he gave another, she concluded, sigh of relief.

  “I don’t know how you’ve escaped becoming some man’s sweetheart or wife, but I’m glad you did.”

  “It’s because the right man never came along.” Until now. She didn’t add those revealing words because it seemed premature to say them.

  Jayce shifted his head to look down at her to ask, “Will you give us time to see what happens between us before you let anybody else catch your eye and interest? I mean, I know we can’t see each other much during the war, but I’ll come visit every chance I can steal.”

  Laura smiled. “Is that a subtle way of asking me to wait for you so we can explore this unexpected attraction between us?”

  Jayce grinned and nodded. “I’ve met few women with such a perfect blend of strength and gentleness. You’re amazing, Laura. You’re intelligent and brave, and you’re beautiful. I enjoy being with you or just watching you from a distance. I suppose it’s obvious how you affect me.”

  “That’s exactly how I feel about you, Jayce. But, I must tell you, it scares me a little because it happened so fast and easy.”

  “I couldn’t have said it better, so we’ll take it slow, but keep the easy,” he said with a broad grin. “Let’s just hope we are as well matched as we seem to be and this war ends soon so we can make certain.”

  Laura cupped his face between her hands, lifted herself to tiptoes, and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Slow and easy suits me fine, Jayce.”

  He sent her a playful grimace. “You don’t make it…easy,” he murmured in a humorous tone, “for a man to leave you, do you?”

  Laura fastened her gaze to his and stroked his chest. “In your case, Lieutenant Storm, I hope not,” she replied, her heart soaring with joy.

  He wanted to tell her not to get too accustomed to that name, but he must not. He wanted to bare his troubled soul to her, but that was impossible. If he did so, he would spoil any chance of having her, and it could imperil his work for the Union. When this war is over, my love, I’ll walk through hellfire and blizzards if necessary to winyou. “Hard as it is, Miss Carlisle, I have to go now. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

  She fretted, Would you feel this way and say such wonderful things to Miss Laura Adams, Union spy? I think not, but I can’t change who and what I am. “Much as I wish you could stay longer, I’ll say good night.”

  “Good night, Laura.” He kissed her lips lightly and departed.

  She went inside, bolted the door, and walked to the dining-room window. As she waited to see the lamp go on in his room, she worried over the future. Now that he had dangled the probability of his love before her, to have it snatched away would pain ,her. Now that she knew what it was like to share passion with him, it would be torment to never enjoy that experience again, torment to be denied its full discovery. Her emotions and reactions were contradictory: she was elated, trustful, and confident; yet dejected, skeptical, and insecure. She felt trapped on a rocking horse, going back and forth with speed and determination, but getting nowhere.

  For heaven’s sake, you’re acting like a weak and foolish young girl!, Laura reprimanded herself. For all you know, Jayce could be duping you with skill and charm, only trying to expose and entrap you for the authorities. What if you’re so engrossed by his magic that you can’t see his sleight-of-hand? What better way to win your trust and affection than by going “slow and easy”? If not, isn’t the chase supposed to be half the fun of a meaningless conquest? Don’t risk heartache and destruction untilyou’re certain of who and what he is.

  He’s the manyou love, her defiant heart retorted. Don’t mistrust him and don’t push him away out of fear. If you’re saying it’s impossible for him to fall for you this fast, it’s also impossible for you to fall for him this fast. Love can’t read a calendar or tell time, Laura, so don’t spoil this chance.

  Both of you stop this bitter arguing right now! she ordered her wary mind and captive heart. All you’re doing is confusing and exhausting me.

  Laura decided that either Jayce had stopped downstairs to talk with other men or he had gone to bed without lighting the lamp. Perhaps he was standing in the dark and observing her windows to see if any of the panels moved to indicate she was looking for a glimpse of him. She left the room and went to bed, restlessness delaying sleep for a while.

  * * *

  Wednesday, July twenty-seventh, was a hectic and eventful day for Laura. It began for her with helping to serve the morning meal to Jayce and other guests. She forced herself to smile and chat with all of the men, but was careful to conceal her feelings for the handsome officer who was clad in a Rebel uniform that bore the markings of his high rank. They were colors and symbols that warned her she could never have a future with him. She had been tempted to ask Lily to swap tables with her, but that would have created suspicions and curiosity in everyone who knew she always took the one nearest to the kitchen. It was a strain not to watch Jayce’s every move or to lock gazes with him or to “accidentally” brush against him. Again, contradictions plagued her: she wanted him gone so she could think without his magic working on her every minute he was close, yet, she wanted him to stay so they could spend time together and give her a chance to dispel her doubts and fears.

  At last, not soon enough and yet too soon, the meal ended. The guests, including Jayce, left the tables. Laura left, too, as she had to check Jayce out of his room. When that was accomplished, once more with caution since other men were in the foyer and parlor, she stepped outside to the front porch to answer Alvus’s summons. She gave him his orders for the day, and turned to find Jayce standing nearby, his hat and saddle pouch in his hands and ready for departure.

  As Alvus was walking way, he said, “I’ll be leaving now, Miss Carlisle, but I hope to return soon.”

  “Did you complete your business, Lieutenant Storm?” Laura asked to delay him for another minute as he descended the steps. She needed one more sound of his voice, one more look, one more smile.

  Jayce halted on the stone walk and turned to face her. “Yes, the replacement horses our cavalry needs for flanking Grant are ordered. We should be giving him a good chase in a few days.” He didn’t know why he lied to her, unless he was desperate to win her trust by making it appear as if he had confided in her. He scolded himself for impulsive and dishonest behavior. He bent over and plucked a flower from beside her steps, held it to his lips, then said, “As usual, the accommodations, food, and hospitality were wonderful. Thank you, and thank the others for me,” he murmured, handing the flower to her. He had noticed Frank leaning against the registration desk just inside the doorway, within hearing range, so he avoided saying anything in his normal tone or expressing more personal sentiments.

  Laura noted how he glanced beyond her and how his expression became guarded, so she deduced that someone was there and behaved accordingly. “Good-bye and s
tay safe, Lieutenant Storm.”.

  “I’ll do my best, Miss Carlisle. Good-bye.”

  Instead of watching him vanish from sight, Laura walked inside, placed the flower under the counter to press later, and asked the Alabama politician if he needed something since he remained in his negligent position with arms propped on the desk.

  “Do you have any of the morning newspapers?” he queried.

  “Not this early. Alvus brings them to me around noon with the mail. Would you like for me to save them for you to read later?”

  “No, thanks. I’ll walk over and fetch one myself, warm off the press.”

  Laura eyed the man who should be well-acquainted with her hotel’s routines after so many stays there, one being that newspapers were available after lunch in the parlor. She reasoned that he had lied for some reason. This new oddity, added atop previous suspicions of distrust, told her to keep an eye on the politically powerful Alabamian and to ask Lily to do the same.

  As Laura went about her routine chores, she asked herself what set Jayce Storm apart from and above other men she had met. She had known and socialized with men just as handsome, virile, and charming as he was. There was something special and rare about him, something that made her want to spend her life with him. There was something that tempted her heart to do or say whatever she could to win him.

  She worried over her family’s safety and survival, as she had not received any news from her father or brothers in a long time. At least every couple of months, they had found a way to get a letter in the southern mail to her to let her know they were all right. She knew that entire units could be wiped out in certain battles, but surely they weren’t all dead or injured. Was the absence of mail a bad omen? She loved them too deeply to lose them. If that happened, she would be alone except for her uncle in Arizona, who had been away from her family for over a year before the war began, and Jacob’s family in what was now West Virginia. She hadn’t considered going there because she might not be welcomed, not to mention the frequent skirmishes that occurred nearby, and the fact the Union needed her in Richmond.