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Midnight Secrets Page 15
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Steve quelled his rebellious emotions and went for a ride on Chuune. He would finish the women’s training tomorrow, give them Sunday for final preparations, then pull out on Monday, April first. He hadn’t unmasked the culprit he was seeking, but he would during the journey. If it turned out to be Charles Avery, he might kill the man for endangering and involving his daughter! What would he do about her, with her, if Charles was guilty? The spirits help both of them if she was part of the crime in progress!
As he galloped along on Chuune’s back to release his tension, he knew that several people were in for big surprises in the morning.
CHAPTER 7
Saturday morning, Ginny went to help Lucy Eaves with chores before their final training began. The woman showed her the sturdy crutch Steve Carr had made for her to help her walk better during the daily exercise and on the trail. She heard of how the scout had offered to let her friend skip that difficult task, and that Lucy had refused. Ginny was pleased but dismayed with herself for her verbal attack on him about the matter. Why hadn’t he told her about this? It wasn’t something he’d done since her criticism of him, which revealed he possessed compassion. Again, it was made clear he wanted to conceal or deny good traits. Remorse and guilt flooded her. As soon as she completed Lucy’s chores, she sought him out.
“Steve, I want to apologize for what I said on the path yesterday. Lucy told me what you’ve done for her. I was wrong to misjudge you and to be so hateful. I was in a wicked mood from lack of sleep. I shouldn’t have taken out my tension on you. Please forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Miss Avery. It’s my job to see that everyone does their jobs. She needed help, so I provided it.”
“You can pass it off lightly if you wish, but I won’t. In spite of what you think your motive was, it was nice and thoughtful. You aren’t as cold and heartless as you believe and try to pretend to be. I’m sure you must have suffered in your life, but you can let the past go if you want to badly enough.”
“With your help and sacrifice, Miss Avery?”
Tears glittered in her hazel eyes as she looked at him. She tried to convince herself it was a defensive action, but it hurt; it hurt for him. Her voice was strained as she replied, “I know it’s hard for you to accept words of gratitude, but these come from the depths of my heart.”
“Don’t do this to yourself; don’t make me out to be something I’m not. Being responsible for people you’re in charge of doesn’t mean I have a tender heart like you do. That’s fine for you, just not for me. I’ve told you and shown you what kind of man I am, a bastard in more than birth.”
Ginny shook her head in disagreement. “If you think kindness and compassion are weaknesses, you’re wrong, Steve. Sometimes people do get hurt when they take risks, but life isn’t much without the times you succeed. If you aren’t the man I believe you to be, you would have taken what I offered and cared nothing for its effect on me.”
Gazing into her entreating eyes and lovely face, it required a moment for him to think clearly enough to find a deceitful reply. “I care about my survival and my job; playing with you could destroy them.”
“You can tell yourself that was your motive, but I don’t believe it.”
He locked gazes with her. “What do you think my motive was, is?”
Ginny decided to gamble for the whole pot. “I think you feel the same way I do and that scares the dickens out of you.”
Steve narrowed his eyes and he dared not ask her what those feelings were. “You think I’m a coward, a weakling?”
“Only with your feelings,” she explained. “You’re willing to risk everything or anything—even your life—on physical challenges, but refuse to risk anything on emotional ones. Taking physical chances can kill you; emotional ones might only wound and can heal with time and another try.”
“Some wounds never heal, Anna. Never.”
“Because you pick at them, keep them open and raw, untended. You refuse to allow anyone to help treat them.”
He realized he had to extricate himself from this unsettling talk. “Unless you’ve lived my life, you’d never understand it or me. Advice is easy to give, but taking it isn’t. Even if I did feel as you do, whatever that is, it wouldn’t change things. I’m a loner and I’ll remain a loner till I die.”
Ginny feared she couldn’t reach him, and perhaps that was for the best. It was selfish and reckless to try to convince him to take a risk that could hurt both of them if it failed. “You aren’t the only one who’s scared of risks and who’s suffered and been cheated in life.”
Something in her voice and expression reached deep into his gut and twisted it. “How would a lady like you know anything about suffering?”
Tears pooled along the rims of Ginny’s eyes, but she kept them from overflowing and spilling down her cheeks. “It would shock you.”
“Teasing from Yankee girls and being away from family for years in an expensive boarding school isn’t the end of the world, Anna.”
“It has nothing to do with that. Yes, I’ve had what most people would believe is a pampered existence, but you don’t really know me or what…” Ginny lowered her lashes to compose herself before she revealed too much to a beguiling stranger. She had the overwhelming urge to sob. When she lifted her eyes again, she was poised, but curious anguish was still visible to the man before her. “Forget it,” she said. “I just came to thank you, not unload my burdens. Your shoulders are too full as is: Besides, we don’t know each other well enough to share such a serious talk. I’ll see you later, Mr. Carr.”
He grasped how he had hurt her and spurned her. He couldn’t help but reach out to her, even though he told himself it was only to save his mission, to repair the bridge needed to get to her. “Anna, tell me—”
She didn’t face him while replying. “No, Mr. Carr; you solve your problems and I’ll solve mine.” She walked away with head held high.
Steve ran certain words through his keen mind: “Problems … Unload my burdens… Other worries… Feel the same way I do… Suffered and been cheated…” What had she been about to tell him, to let slip? Why hadn’t he allowed her to confess whatever troubled her? What would “shock” him? Her “burdens” had to do with more than him, and he should have let her expose them. She could hold valuable clues to his case and he had forced her to keep her hands balled. He wondered if it had been intentional on his part; once he solved this case, he would be gone.
The group met around a wagon in the next clearing: they used the Avery one because it had fewer things to unload, and Charles had the necessary tools for today’s training task. Before they started the lesson, Steve told the others how “Miss Avery” had gotten free of the mud hole and praised her wits; that surprised and pleased Ginny.
“You should remember those tricks in case you need them later. Now, let’s learn how to remove and replace a wheel. We won’t break anything here to learn how to do repairs, but I’ll tell you how they’re done.”
“Why learn this? Our husbands and the other men will do it.”
Steve explained to Mattie Epps and others, “If your husband is alive and uninjured, you’re right. And, if you don’t get stranded or leave the wagontrain for some reason, you’re right. But what if you’re wrong?”
“Why would anyone do that?” the complainer asked.
“Husbands can get hurt and killed and too sick to work. If one of those hardships strikes, sometimes people don’t go on, or they decide to head to the nearest town to settle or recover there, or they decide to give up and turn back. Once you leave the wagontrain, you’re on your own. If you break a wheel or part, who’s going to do the change or repair? Are you going to sit there waiting and hoping for help to come along? Supplies could run out or robbers could come by before that happens. I won’t force any of you to learn this lesson, but don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning it could be needed.”
After those words, no one left the area or refused to participate in the lesson
. They used Charles Avery’s jack to lift the wagon by the axle assembly. They took turns turning the crank, removing the wheel, replacing the wheel, and lowering the contrivance.
When every woman knew the procedure and could respond accurately to questions about other repairs, they broke for lunch, then took their four-mile walk. Afterward, Steve met with them for final instructions.
At four o’clock, the scout announced, “You’re trained and ready, ladies. Be sure to practice and hone your new skills on the trail; don’t let them get rusty. This evening and tomorrow, get your final chores and preparations done. We leave Monday morning at seven sharp. You’re dismissed until that time, except for your exercise tomorrow; you don’t want to get stiff and soft by skipping a day. I’ll be heading to town soon to tell the grain wagon drivers we’re finished and to join us tomorrow. If any of your husbands want to come along to get supplies, he’s welcome to ride along with me. All of you did a good job, so I doubt anyone will have trouble along the way.”
Loud cheers rose among the women.
Ginny climbed aboard the wagon, drove it back to her campsite, and unhitched the team. She went inside to make certain everything was. in its correct place and was secured, as others had helped her reload.
“Miss Avery?”
She turned, walked to the back, and knelt to speak with the scout.
“Do you have a message for your father I can deliver? Anything you need him to bring when he comes tomorrow to join us?”
“Nothing I can think of, Steve, but thank you for the offer.”
“See you later.”
“Good-bye, Steve, and thanks.”
He tipped his hat, nodded, and left.
So much for not having human kindness, Ginny thought with a smile. It slowly faded as she mused, Or did you only want an excuse to see where and how you think I lived? Checking me out, my inquisitive guide? Why?
Ginny shook her head in displeasure. Don’t be so suspicious of him. Just because he’s being nice doesn’t mean he has an ulterior motive. Yet, she had a strong feeling he did; perhaps it had been something in his tone of voice or in his expression that gave her that feeling. After all, Steve Carr wasn’t a man to do anything without a good reason, his own reason.
Ginny let the matter drop and went to see Ruby Amerson. “Why don’t I watch the children while you get your wash done?” she offered. “I don’t have as much, so I can do mine afterward.”
“That’s so kind of you, Anna. It’ll be a big help. George went into town with Mr. Carr to replenish some of our supplies.”
“It will be fun and educational; just tell me what to do.”
Ginny scrubbed her clothes at the river. After she finished each item, she laid it on a blanket to keep from soiling it while she worked on the others. She realized ironing was impossible in camp and on the trail, so she could imagine how some of the cotton garments would look a rumpled mess soon.
She heard a distant gunshot and remembered some of the men had gone hunting. She was relieved they hadn’t had any trouble while camped there, and prayed they wouldn’t on the trail.
Steve leaned against a tree at his campsite. His supplies and gear were ready to move out; they always stayed ready for a quick departure. None of the men who had gone into town with him had done anything suspicious. Either the gems were hidden in a wagon, concealed near camp, or would arrive with Charles Avery tomorrow. He had stopped by the boardinghouse for a minute on the pretext of telling Charles their schedule. The man hadn’t been home, so his older sister had taken the message. The friendly woman had sent Anna some treats and a shawl that he would pass along to her when she returned from chores.
Steve concluded the boardinghouse was clean, large, and had been successful, but not enough so to earn wealth or provide a high social status. From Anna’s possessions, schooling, and genteel breeding, he had expected something very different. He told himself it was because Charles, preparing for this move west, had sold his home and business and moved in with his sister. Steve wished he could have gotten a look at something indicative of Charles’s old lifestyle which could tell him more about the man. He also wished he had arrived in time and had the chance to do more study on Avery and the other men. At present, he didn’t know who to watch most carefully.
Steve joined Ginny as she hung her wash to dry. She glanced at him and smiled. “It’s hard to believe we’ll be heading west on Monday.”
“You’re looking forward to it?”
Ginny gazed into space over the rope clothesline as she thought of seeing her father. “Yes, very much. I can hardly wait to arrive.”
“Better enjoy the journey. After you get there, you’ll have lots of work to do… Your aunt sent you some surprises; I put them in your wagon.”
Ginny halted work to look at him, “You went to see her?”
“I dropped by to tell your father we’d be leaving Monday. He wasn’t home, so I left word with your aunt.”
What if someone had told him Mr. Avery’s daughter was dead when he asked for directions? she fretted. What if someone mentioned a recent death and burial of another girl, a stranger who had just docked from England? Surely not, as the scout didn’t appear or sound suspicious of her. “That was nice of you,” she said and concentrated on her task.
Steve wondered why she looked unsettled by his mention of the visit to her home. Maybe she had lost more because of the war than she had hinted at and hoped no one in camp discovered they were near what she might think were dire straits. He’d keep alert to—
“What’s this, Mr. Carr?” one of the Davis boys asked as he drew Steve’s knife from his boot sheath while the scout was distracted.
Steve reacted instantly by grasping the blade and yanking it from the startled child’s hand. “That’s sharp and dangerous, Son; don’t ever play with knives or guns.”
“I’m sorry, sir; I won’t do it again. I better go.”
Ginny and Steve watched the embarrassed boy run off to play with the others. She looked at the scout’s hand as he replaced the weapon and saw red staining his palm. “You’re bleeding. Let me see your hand.”
Steve looked at the injury. “Just a nick. Doesn’t hurt much.”
Ginny captured and eyed his hand. “It needs tending. I’ll—”
“Don’t trouble yourself.”
“It won’t be any trouble.”
“I can take care of it; I always take care of myself.”
“That blood should prove you’re human just like everyone else. You don’t have to be so strong all the time. It won’t hurt to open up a little and let people in. You might be surprised to learn you like it. That wound could become infected. It will be easier for me to bind it. Besides, I need the practice; you can tell me what to do. I insist, Steve, no arguing.” She captured his wrist and pulled him toward her wagon. “Sit up here while I take care of it. Let me fetch the medicine box.”
Steve did as she said, sat cross-legged on the tailgate. He watched her get the medicine box and a basin of fresh water.
Ginny washed the oozing scarlet area with gentleness, but blood continued to flow from the cut. “It doesn’t look deep enough for stitches, so that’s good.” She dapped stinging medicine on the slice, but the man didn’t wince or move. She wrapped a clean bandage around his hand, then used his thumb and wrist to secure it in place. “That’s better. I’ll check it and change the bandage tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Dr. Avery, you did a good job.”
Ginny returned his smile and quipped, “See, it wasn’t so bad to let someone help you for a change. You do it plenty for others.”
“I suppose not,” he relented a little. He realized she hadn’t released his injured hand yet; it was cupped tenderly in hers, and the contact felt wonderful. Too stimulating, he warned himself and moved it.
Steve eased off the tailgate and turned to her. “The things from your aunt are over there.” He pointed to a small pile. “See you later.”
Ginny observed his retreat befo
re she tossed out the bloody water and put away the medicine kit. She returned to hanging up her laundry. She was amazed he had given in to her request, spoken as an order. It had been enjoyable, despite the circumstances, to tend and to touch him. The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted him to remain in her life.
The sliver of a moon attempted to give adequate light to the shadowy landscape; its task was aided by fires here and there whose colorful flames leapt upward and sent curls of smoke in the same direction. The ebony sky was filled with bright stars. A refreshing breeze stirred mosses, branches, and grass blades. The ground was still soft from two days of rain. Nocturnal birds, insects, and creatures sent forth their sounds into the night. Frogs and crickets were particularly abundant. Some wagons were aglow from lanternlight inside. Laughter and voices could be heard wafting on the wind. Most seemed content to rest and relax tonight at their own campsites before doing their final chores tomorrow.
Ginny strolled into the shadows opposite her wagon. Steve joined her immediately without startling her. She grinned and explained, “I wasn’t going far, boss; I remember your caution about the danger of being away alone. I love nighttime: the stars, the moon, the shadows, the nocturnal sounds, the calm of it all. You have to be in the darkness to experience them better.”
“If we were out West, you wouldn’t be safe even this close to camp and guards. A trained warrior could sneak up to kill you, rob you, or capture you without making a sound to alert others.”
“Then I’m glad we’re here tonight. Have you… tangled with many Indians in your travels?”
“Yes and no,” he replied as he envisioned her as his captive.
“Explain that,” she encouraged to keep him talking.
“I’ve done Indian fighting, and I’ve also made friends with some.”
“Friends?” she echoed in surprise.
“I do have some, Anna. I just don’t make them easy and often.”
“You constantly amaze and confuse me, Steve Carr. Who are you?”