Defiant Hearts Page 18

  Lily’s face paled and her voice quavered. “You’re firing me? But I’ve tried to give every man his money’s worth. It’s just hard to pretend I’m enjoying myself and don’t mind them touching me. What more do they expect from me besides the sex they pay for?”

  Laura saw tears of anguish and frustration glittering in the woman’s eyes. She was touched by Lily’s sufferings and wanted to soothe them with haste. “Calm down, Lily, I’m not firing you, my dear and best friend; I could never do that. What I’m saying is you can’t keep entertaining men upstairs because your mind and heart and body no longer enable you to do so. It’s time you admit to yourself that your heart and head are elsewhere; they’re with Richard, correct?”

  “It wouldn’t matter if they are, Laura. He knows I’m a whore, so he would never want me as a woman and surely not as a wife; he would never be able to forget or forgive me for what I’ve done and been.”

  “Lily Hart, you are not a whore! From now on, you’ll be my assistant; whenever I’m gone, you’ll run things for me. As I told you before, I’ll teach you everything you need to know about this business. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle this change financially, but I’ll find a way.”

  “You can’t keep paying me if I don’t bring in money upstairs. From what you’ve taught me so far, you’re barely making ends meet now.”

  “I know I can’t stay in business if all three of you stop seeing men upstairs and I lose so much earnings. If that weren’t true, I would halt that part of my business today. If Belle and Cleo get upset, they’ll have to go elsewhere to work. In fact, after I tell them about your change of jobs, I’ll give them the choice of continuing with me or leaving; that’s only fair.”

  “You’ll go broke if you lose all of us. I can’t let you do that for me.”

  “I’ll hire replacements if Belle and Cleo get angry and quit. Wait, I have another idea: I’ll ask Ben if Grant can help me for a while, because if I shut down, they’ll lose a valuable spy. I’ll request a loan; that way it won’t sound as if I’m asking to be paid for information.”

  “Are you serious, Laura, no more…servicing men?”

  Laura smiled and nodded. “That’s right. From now on, you’ll be Miss Lily Hart, Proprietress’s Assistant. How does that sound?”

  Lily hugged her, then wept in joy. “For years, I’ve shut off my emotions with men and play-acted with them. At times, I wanted to control them and force them to want me. It’s like I’ve been dead inside. Then, Richard came along and changed me. He made me come alive and feel again. It’s scary, Laura, but it also feels wonderful. I’ve done awful things, but I want my life to be different. I want to feel clean, happy, free, and whole again. I’m ready to forgive and heal myself.”

  “I’m so elated for you, dear Lily. Everything will be fine, you’ll see.”

  Lily grasped Laura’s hand. “I couldn’t do this without you, Laura; you’re as responsible for my change of heart as Richard is. I love him and want him, but I fear he’s out of my reach, not only because of my past, but for my spying. Tell me, if your father and brothers had sided with the South, would you still be a loyalist and spy?”

  “Loyalist, yes, I’m certain; but a spy, I doubt it because that would be working against my family and possibly getting them injured or slain.”

  “But you’re doing that to Lieutenant Storm and you love him, right?”

  Laura was surprised by how quickly and unexpectedly Lily brought Jayce into their talk. “I must confess, dear Lily, you’re right; but I can’t halt what I’m doing because I was already into this situation when I met him. Besides, he’s gone now and I might never see him again. If he makes it through this conflict alive, he would hate and spurn me when he learned the truth about me. But if we don’t continue our work, Jayce and Richard could die. The longer the war continues and the stronger the Union gets, the less chance they have of surviving it. Our only hope of keeping them alive is to help terminate the fighting as fast as possible. We’re caught in an emotional triangle, my friend, with us at one point, the men we love at another, and war at the last. Even when the hostilities end, there’s still a great distance between us and them. But who knows, maybe fate will look kindly on us and grant us our heart’s desire.”

  * * *

  Laura met with Belle and Cleo the following day. She explained that she had hired Lily as her assistant and Lily would no longer entertain patrons upstairs. “I can’t afford to pay you two for just cleaning and laundry chores and serving our guests at night, so if you want to stop the upstairs part of your jobs here, I’m afraid you’ll have to find work elsewhere.”

  Belle responded, “We like our work, Miss Laura, and do our boys a good service. We don’t want to quit or go to work in one of them low-class houses on Lotus Street or in Shockoe Bottom. Right, Cleo?”

  The redhead agreed. “She speaks my mind, Miss Laura. I enjoy what I do for men and they pay me good. We don’t mind Lily stopping. If we get her customers, we’ll also get her tips and gifts,” she jested.

  Laura asked, “Are you two sure? Belle? Cleo?” Both women nodded. “I don’t want you to think I’m showing favoritism to Lily because she’s my friend, but I need her help running the place. You know how much I’ve been gone lately to the hospital. It’s possible I could get ill and confined to bed. If I don’t teach her how to run the business, we could all be out of work and tossed out of our homes. If she’s going to be my assistant, she can’t be busy upstairs when a problem arises and I’m gone or incapacitated.”

  “We understand, Miss Laura, and agree with you. We’re glad you’re trying to protect our jobs and home. Right, Cleo?”

  “She speaks my mind again, Miss Laura. We’ll obey Lily’s orders just as if they was coming from your mouth.”

  “Thank you for being so kind and helpful,” Laura told them with a smile. “If you change your minds, just let me know.”

  “We will, but we won’t,” Belle said and grinned.

  Later that afternoon, news spread fast and reached Laura’s ears that two spies had been captured at the Spotswood Hotel Bar and were to be executed soon. It sent jolts of fear into her body, as she surmised the local authorities would be on alert for more traitors. With their guards up, it could be perilous to meet with Ben tonight, yet, she quelled her panic and prepared to do so.

  At their new rendezvous site and time, Laura joined Ben at the edge of Falling Creek. She told him that President Davis was in Petersburg with General Lee and, if he could be captured, perhaps the Confederacy would fold without his leadership.

  “That’s a cunnin’ thought, Miss Laura, but it wouldn’t work. The loss of one man, less ’an it’s Lee or Grant, won’t make much never mind.”

  They talked about other news and recent incidents before Ben told her that Rebel peace negotiations with Lincoln on Tuesday had proved to be invalid. He also revealed that things were going to heat up again in the area within the next day or two.

  “Grant’s got to polish his image after those recent fiascos.”

  Laura decided, in case she couldn’t continue her line of work for the Union as Lily had been unable to continue in hers, she should drop hints to Ben. She told him of the two men caught for spying. “If the situation is getting fierce again, it could be dangerous for me to keep doing this,” she said honestly. “I must confess, Ben, I get terrified at times. If I’m caught, there’s no guessing what will happen to Lily and the others. If the law closed down the hotel, my friends would be out of work and a home. Besides, I can barely make ends meet now to stay in business.”

  At first, Ben gaped at her in disbelief. Then, he smiled and argued, “You can’t quit, Miss Laura, you’re needed by Grant, needed by every Union soldier, even by every Rebel; you get information no other spy can. The facts you cull can help end this war. Don’t go actin’ hasty.”

  “I find the actions of Sheridan, Sherman and Butler unacceptable, Ben. You know what they’re doing and have been doing to innocents.”

>   “The South is doin’ the same, Miss Laura, just keepin’ it quiet so good folks won’t protest and go over to the Union’s side. This is war, and horrible things happen in war.”

  “But I’m helping them to happen, Ben, and that torments me. This was never a game or adventure to me as it is with some spies; what I’m doing is real, serious, detrimental to many Southerners.”

  “My sweetheart feels the same way you do, and it scares me to think about the risks both of you are takin’, but we hafta continue or this war will go on too long, creatin’ more hatred and scars, and destroyin’ too much of the South. Do you want Virginia, North Carolina, and other states to be demolished by persistent Yankees? Do you want Rebels rippin’ through the North? The longer this goes on, the worse it will be for everybody. We can help shorten this war, so don’t give up now when things are goin’ in our favor. If you need money help, we’ll give it.”

  “If that becomes necessary, I’ll let you know. But it would be a loan, Ben, one I would repay. I’m not doing this for money or glory.” Before she could continue, she noted that Ben changed the topic.

  “Have you already heard your father’s brigade is near Nashville?”

  All other thoughts left Laura’s mind as she gave him her full attention. She hadn’t received a letter from him in a long time, but the last word had come from western Tennessee. Recently she had asked Ben to check on his whereabouts. “No, do you have any news about him and my brothers?”

  “Yep, but it took some doin’, I’ll tell you the straight of it. They’re close to Nashville, were skirmishin’ with Rebs at Triune, south of there about the third of this month. But his brigade’s bein’ reassigned soon. He’ll probably get attached to Schofield and Thomas and stay in that area, or be sent into Alabama to help take her, or be put under Sherman’s command in Georgia. I can’t say which just yet. But whichever order he gets, he and your brothers will be right dab in the middle of some of the hottest fightin’. If you let your feelin’s stop you from gatherin’ or passin’ along information on forces about to challenge ’em, your family could be in deep trouble, Miss Laura, and that’s the straight of it as promised.”

  She was certain Ben was telling her the truth, but, for the first time during their association, he was using love for her family to coerce her into continuing her spying, and that manipulative realization hurt. But since Ben was in a position to glean news for her, she didn’t allow her reaction to show. If she quit or angered him, perhaps he would withhold future news about them. “They’re still alive and well?” she asked anxiously.

  “For now, and I’ll keep passin’ along any clues I can get about ’em. ’Course, I can’t tell you anythin’ if I don’t see you again. Best you can do to protect ’em is to pay real close attention to Rebel plans for those areas.”

  “If at all possible, I’ll keep meeting with you and I’ll see what I can learn about those locations. If I’m not here, check the tree hole for a message; it could be I had to deliver it on another day or earlier.”

  “Thanks, Miss Laura, and you won’t be sorry you changed your mind.”

  “I hope not, Ben. Good-bye.” She mounted to leave, but Ben added words that made her feel a little better.

  “You be real careful goin’ home, and don’t take no risks tryin’ to get them facts we need. This is war and I’m puttin’ pressure on you, but I don’t want no harm to come to you and you can trust that to be true.”

  To Laura, his gaze and voice told her he was being sincere. They had known each other for a long time, so perhaps it was the strain of war and their perilous work that made him act strangely tonight. “Thank you, Ben. Stay safe and well. Goodbye,” she told him again and departed.

  Friday morning began as a steamy day, but the humidity decreased as it progressed. Laura spent time with Lily, training her for the new job. She wished that task would distract her from her worries about her family and Jayce, but it didn’t. At least she knew her father and brothers were alive and unharmed, but she couldn’t say the same for the man she loved. So much had taken place near his location and she feared for his fate.

  Later that day, she listened to news about how the C.S.S. Tallahassee had taken six Union ships near New York since morning and about how things were going elsewhere, but nothing useful to Grant and the Union.

  At nine o’clock, she was tired and tense, so she put Lily in charge and went home. She took a bath, donned a nightgown, and brushed her hair. Before she could get into bed, she heard a soft knock at her front door. At first, she wasn’t going to respond, then decided she must.

  “Who’s there?” she asked without opening it.

  “Laura, it’s Jayce. Can I see you for a minute?”

  In her state of astonishment and elation, Laura forgot her revealing attire. She unbolted the lock, opened the door, and said, “Come inside quickly before someone sees you.”

  Jayce almost had to squeeze through the narrow slit she’d created between the door and its frame. He noted how rapidly she closed and rebolted it, then leaned against it and stared at him as if she couldn’t believe he was real. He saw that she was clad in a pale-blue cotton gown with buttons and laces at the bodice, the material so thin he could see the outline of her breasts. The hall’s one lamp reflected light on her golden hair, which was unbound, full, and shiny. Her green gaze seemed to engulf him with its magic and allure. She was so beautiful and feminine and tempting that he couldn’t think straight.

  Laura murmured, “Oh, Jayce, I’ve been so worried about you. I’m so happy and relieved to see you.”

  She was so enchanting that Jayce forgot for a while why he had come to see her: to question her, to test her, to learn if he had been right or wrong about her…“I’m fine, Laura, but I’ve been worried about you, too. The only thing that kept my head clear and my boots where they should be was knowing the skirmishes hadn’t reached the city so I knew you were safe. I’ve missed you, woman; you have this way of sneaking into my head every day and night.”

  Laura noted his husky tone and saw the desire in his gaze, a desire that seemed to match her own. With every fiber of her being, she wanted to be in his arms. Right or wrong, she must have him at least once or surely her defiant heart would cease to beat.

  Jayce saw the passion in her eyes and couldn’t refuse to respond. He grasped her hand and held it to his lips, his gaze never leaving hers. “I want to make love to you, Laura; I have since the first moment we met.”

  She gazed at him, neither surprised nor offended by his words. In fact, she was thrilled to hear them. She needed—wanted—him. How else could she discover what kind of man he truly was unless she yielded to him tonight? Lily had told her that a woman could learn a lot about a man by how he treated her in bed. She wasn’t proud of herself for doing so, but she furtively had witnessed passionate bouts between Belle and Cleo and their customers when she’d been trying to gather information for the Union. For that reason, she knew what a man and woman did in bed. She didn’t think she had to worry about complications, as she just had her woman’s flow; Richard Carlile’s book said a woman couldn’t get pregnant for a week to ten days following her menses.

  “Did I speak too soon or misread your feelings?” he asked. “If so—”

  Laura pressed her fingers to his lips and shook her head. “I was just making certain I understood you correctly and I knew what I was doing.”

  “Are you sure about this, Laura? I won’t press you. A moment like this is too special to be spoiled by doubts or regrets. I admit I want you and need you badly and the war doesn’t give much time for courting, but I don’t want to do or say anything to hurt you or to trick you.”

  “If I didn’t believe you, I wouldn’t say yes. I want you, too, Jayce. With the war going on and increasing in ferocity every day, this could be the last time we ever see each other, the only time we can be together. Either of us could be slain. You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted in this way. I don’t know the right things to say and do, so
you’ll have to tell me or show me.”

  “Don’t worry, everything will be just perfect,” he murmured, then leaned toward her. When she did not retreat, he kissed her and pulled her into his embrace, savoring the taste and feel of her immediate response.

  Laura looped her arms around his neck and guided her fingers into his dark mane, drawing his head closer. She loved the way he kissed. She felt weak and breathless as his mouth roved her face and ears. His embrace tightened and his kisses became urgent and deeper after his lips returned to hers. His strong and gentle hands stroked her arms and back, making her aware of every inch of her yearning body. When his hand roamed over her shoulder to her breast and cupped it, heat and tingles raced over her flesh. Her nipples grew taut. The core of her being called out for an appeasement only Jayce could give.

  She looked into his beckoning blue eyes when he leaned his head back and smiled at her, as if giving her another—a last—chance to change her mind. Without hesitation, Laura placed her hand in his and guided him to her bed, where he halted beside it to kiss her.

  As he had dreamed of doing many times, Jayce unbuttoned and unlaced her gown and lifted it over her head. Not wanting to embarrass her, he kept his gaze fastened to hers as she freed her hips of her bloomers, parted the net canopy, and lay down on a bed, its covers already turned back. With light coming only from the hallway lamp, he removed his boots and uniform. As fast and smoothly as possible, he joined her, pulled her into his embrace, and kissed her. At last, she was in his arms with nothing and no one between them.

  “We’ll go as slowly as you need to, Laura.” The warmth of his breath and huskiness of his voice in her ear caused her to quiver.

  Together they surrendered to their shared passions. They yielded to the glorious torment of wanting each other so deeply and strongly that nothing and no one could prevent their bonding. It seemed right, natural, predestined for them to join together. The embers of fiery desire that had ignited between them weeks ago were stoked into a roaring blaze which neither could nor wanted to control.